1. Wait, what? There's a problem with this order
Don't look at me like I've got personality disorder
I didn't ask for curly kale I said I wanted chips
Next time maybe listen more and watch my bloody lips

C1. Corona Virus? you must be bloody joking
I'd like to swallow all of this but I'm too busy choking
Corona Virus? how's this meant to work?
I didn't fight in two world wars to just look like a jerk

2. Wait, what? I’m having a conniption
The pharmacy have only dished up half of my prescription
So those pharmacy assistants are all busy on computers
Selling black market statins to fat wrinklies on their scooters

C2. Corona Virus? you must be bloody joking
I really haven't got the time to get another bloke in
Corona Virus? banging on the wall?
I didn't fight in two world wars, I didn't fight at all

3. Wait, what? This ain't what I expected
Hanging on for hours but I still got disconnected
"Your call may be recorded so we can do some extra training"
Or pissing in your pockets and then telling you it's raining

C3. Corona Virus? you must be bloody joking
It's not breaking curfew leaning out the window smoking
Corona Virus? Are you sure you’re sure?
I didn't fight in anything, I missed the bloody war

4. Wait, what? This isn’t what I planned
Naked in a shower with a spanner in my hand
The waters soaking through and running right into the kitchen
The wife is sat three rooms away but I can hear her bitchin'

Middle Eight: Christ it's 2020 but we've still got tunnel vision
I thought by now we'd learn to learn from every shit decision
I'm way too old to want to just be left here in the dark
Park Life isn't Park Life, you're not living in a park

5. Wait, what? Stuck in for a fortnight?
You only get in trouble if you stupidly get caught, right?
Jumping over fences like I'm bunking off of school
I'm looking out for bogroll and I'm feeling pretty cool

C4. Corona Virus? it's gone beyond a joke
You look a bit as if you're going to have a bloody stroke
Corona Virus? I only asked for beer?
I didn't fight in anything, I was queuing up in here

6. Wait, what? This is all a laugh
Going to a party as a pantomime giraffe
I like the idea we should all be grabbing for a claw full
But no-one ever mentioned it was going to be this awful

C5. Corona Virus? I might just lose my rag
Sitting here and waiting while you're off having a fag
Corona Virus? Can't you bloody share one?
I didn't fight in two world wars to sit here like a spare one